Nothing hurts more than finding out you’re being cheated on. Cheated on by someone you would never ever do it to. Even in times when the opportunity presented itself and with an almost guarantee of no repercussion, I’ve walked away. I have walked away out of respect for my relationship and respect for myself. To never give another man the ability to “shade” my King in anyway.

But to be told that “You made me do it!” just shattered me to the core. How the hell am I responsible for the actions of another? Where is the accountability for your own actions? This unfair accusation spewed in the heat of the moment caused me to shut down completely. If a man isn’t willing to accept responsibility for his actions then there’s nothing left to say.

To find out that my King was actually OUR King was a blow to me. Finding out that another woman had access to what I thought was solely mine was freaking heart wrenching and humiliating.

My first thought was what did she have that I didn’t have? Petty me immediately went in on the physicality. It felt so good to tear into the other woman. And since I held no responsibility for the death of us, the stone cold silence ensued. Unbeknownst to me, we had been dying for some time now.

Every time he told me what he needed/required in an intimate relationship and scoffed at him and it, I was pushing him away.

Every time I choose to confide in my friends and not my partner, I was pushing him away.

Every time I wanted quality time with him and proceeded to spend that time deep in my phone I was pushing him away.

Every time I was more focused on how we looked on social media #relationshipgoals, and not on the overall health of our relationship, I was pushing him away

Over time the inevitable happened, and I learned a valuable lesson.

Refusing my partner of certain desires didn’t mean that those desires went away. They’re still there lying dormant until…