I can take constructive criticism! I’m a big girl now.

Just tell me what it is that needs to be fixed. I am here for it. Especially when I value the relationship. All I ask is that you’re respectful/mindful of your tone when you’re doing it. Or so I thought anyway.

My then lover and I are basking in the glow of what I thought was an orgasmic, mind blowing session of love making, when he wrapped his arms around me and secured me next to him. The only sound in the room is our racing heartbeats and the air conditioner. My mind and body are relaxed and I am literally in a state of perfect happiness.

He adjusted me so that I’m staring into his eyes and says, “I like you a lot and I want this relationship and I love blow jobs and you can’t suck dick. Like not all babes.”

I instantly tried to pull away from him, but since he had strategically positioned me, I could not move. Shame and embarrassment flooded my face. My thoughts and body language became defensive, upon hearing these words.

HOW DARE HE!

Now mind you, he was right. He was only my second partner and my first was not big on giving nor receiving oral sex so I never had to do it. Does him being right made it any easier for me to swallow this truth? HELL NO

HOW DARE HE SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!

My ego was crushed, and it took many of uncomfortable conversations with him mostly reminding me of how he made it a priority to learn my body and what it took to please me sexually, even at the expense of his physical discomfort. Dude even went so low as to remind me of the importance of honesty in relationships.

But what he also did was introduced me to a wonderful book called Tickle the Pickle by Sadie Allison . The weeks to follow he gently, but firmly, taught me the art of pleasing my man.