How Are You?

“How are you?” must be the most asked question ever. But is the only question where the person asking doesn’t always care or even want to know the real answer to that question. So I’m going through a lil issue right now. I have RATS and I’ve found myself telling everyone that asks “how you doing?” about it. Because in all honesty it is the only thing that’s on my mind, and in my apartment, and it’s running me ragged! I’ve been sleeping in my jeep for the past 4 days and my body is achy. Side note: did you know your hip starts to hurt from sleeping upright all night long?!! Yea I didn’t know either. But it does. And picture this I have a 5 years old and a 2 year old camping out with me. SMH. The 5 year old thinks it’s an adventure while the 2 year old doesn’t think about it at all! The joy/bliss of being  innocent. Goodness when did I loose my innocence :), we’ll leave that for another time and place(blog), maybe.

This really got me thinking about my intimate relationships and how I tend to shy away from difficult conversations just to keep the peace or situations where I would tune down all this personality to make my partner better about himself. Have you ever experienced that?  Your significant other ask you what’s up, cuz you’ve been quiet lately and all you say is, everything’s good, while you’re frustrated with something that was said or done earlier. Or is that just me who had that bad habit? I’ve lost some relationships as a result of this, not expressing myself led to serious resentment and emotional disconnect resulting in the death of the relationship. I’m not an advocate for being loud mouth and aggressive, but over the years I’ve become pretty secure about who I am and my values and as a result I’ve learned how to respectfully address uncomfortable necessary conversations. There was a whole lot of trial and error on this journey but it has definitely been worth it. 

Back to the original question “How are you?” Few people really care to know the real answer and even fewer people answer it honestly . This whole “RATS” experience has taught me that the only way someone can help you is if you’re willing to be honest and tell people what your issue/problem is and here’s the kicker, you have to be willing to listen and follow thru with advise/suggestions. So far I haven’t gotten any suggestions that have helped with my RATS situation but I’ve gotten a bunch of options to try in the main while and bucket loads of sympathy. Nonetheless, I’ve learned that open honest communication makes my relationships so much more invigorating and satisfying. 

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