I Smile

I think of you and I smile! I smile because of the many thoughts that race through my mind. You as my lover, you as my confidant, you being the lovable douche, you being my best friend and a listening ear. For a few minutes I revel in those memories. And I smile!  Then slowly my smile droops just a bit. It droops as the memories of the Mr. Know It All surfaces! The memories of the arrogance that sometimes hides the insecurities, your shield I call it. It droops when I’m flooded with memories of your lack of accountability and your vicious tongue, that has the ability to uplift and encourage, but some how cuts and destroys with such ease. And even seeing the untapped potential that’s right beneath the surface, just dying to be unleashed. And I smile again.

I smile because I’m finally seeing the MAN in his totality! And not through the rose tinted lenses I tend to wear :). But the man with all of his beautiful flaws and I smile again. We’ve finally gotten to life’s cross road and it’s time to unravel our intertwined  fingers and walk on our own. Time to allow the other person to grow and blossom into what and who we’re suppose to be. And I smile!

I smile because I’ve finally learnt and accepted the role you’ve played in my life. You’ve taught me some valuable lessons that, in the moment, cut to the core but showed me a side of myself that I  never knew existed. But I’m thankful for those lessons.  And now that I’ve learnt the lessons it’s time to continue my journey. As I navigate this thing called life I’m eternally grateful for you being there for me. Comforting me, encouraging me, fighting me and forcing me to see things differently. So thank you!

Thank you for helping me to “Get the Fuck Over It” and helping me to “Make It Make Sense”. Thank you and take it easy!


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