Dating these days is quite challenging. I remember growing up as a teenager if a guy liked you, he would ask you to go steady with him. You would hang out, not the way y’all hang out these days and get to know each other. We would spend hours on the phone talking about any and everything. The goal was to ensure the conversation never died, these conversations would linger until one of us fell asleep or until a parent or older sibling demanded the phone. There was an occasional kiss stolen and nothing else. Side note, I’ve since learned that other kids my age were getting fondled, and I think I’m slightly jealous. None of my 2 high school boyfriends ventured that far with me. Anyways, lets me get back to the topic at hand. We would spend so much time talking about nothing and everything and establishing a friendship that there was no ambiguity within the relationship. Everyone knew we were a couple, meaning none of the other guys made inappropriate comments or gestures because I had a boyfriend. And he was allowed to visit my home and vice versa with parental supervision or if no adult was around, we were only allowed to sit on the porch in full view of the neighbors or my siblings and hang out and play games and listen to music. For me, this was enough. I never even entertained the idea of anything more beyond this. Looking back, I now understand why I only had 2 high school boyfriends LOL. After experiencing such clarity and decisiveness as a teenager one would think dating as an adult would defiantly follow suit. It hasn’t and I’m left somewhat at a loss. I’ve arrived at a point where I’m watchful of certain actions or lack thereof and remove myself
If the conversations are always surface level and the relationship is shallow, I must move on. If we’re unable to have any meaningful conversations with one another I must move on. A man who’s able to pique my curiosity and draw me in through conversation is a man I’d want to be around and get to know better.
No effort is made to integrate me into their life. Now I have children and I’m not fond of just any man I date meeting my children or my family and friends, but if we’ve decided to date exclusively and there are no introductions then it’s time to move on.
There’s no talk about a future with you. None. Nothing beyond the next time you’ll “see” each other. This is the point of realization that you’re holding out for something that may never materialize. This feeling is the epitome of demoralizing and requires real introspection and is most definitely a sign to move on.
Your gut keeps telling you that you’re wasting time, but you’re refusing to listen to your intuition and so you keep holding out for some miraculous change or shift in the individual and this never happens. Remember to trust your intuition. A woman’s intuition is a real thing, and it shouldn’t be ignored. Listen to it and move on.
When he outright tells you that he’s not interested in a committed relationship with you. Yes, you hang out all the time, yes you make plans together, yes, he’s always available to scratch that itch but the man has spoken. Don’t wait for him to see your goodness and decide to commit to you. Don’t hurt yourself wishing, hoping, and praying. See it for what it is and not what you would like it to be and move on.
Moving on always sounds so nice and simple, but anyone who has ever had to walk away from someone they love understands that it’s a daily decision to only focus on what’s best for you. Believe it or not, we all know when it’s time to move on, it’s just that we’ve gotten so comfortable with what’s before us, or we are scared shitless that we won’t find someone else. And honestly, until you move on you’ll never know what’s out there.
What are some signs that it’s time to move on? Have you had to move on from a relationship that just wasn’t progressing at all?