I don’t care what nobody says working in front of a computer all day is DRAINING!
Some weeks are better than others thankfully; but after a week of being hunched over a computer I’m ready to unwind and pamper myself or be pampered. Initially, when I thought about having designated self-care Sundays, I had a very specific look for this day. I would start the day off with a great brew, after all who doesn’t love coffee! This I would enjoy while journaling followed with the ultimate grooming session of shaving and exfoliating my entire body then lathering down with organic coconut oil topped with that luscious shea body butter that I absolutely adore! Once I was done with this, I would pour myself a glass of red wine, preferably cheap and sweet, light a scented candle, Ocean Driftwood by Bath & Body Works is my fav, and curl in bed with a great book and just revel glorious experience for a few hours. For several Sundays I did exactly that and although I thoroughly enjoyed it, there was something lacking. I was looking good physically but still longing for a sense of intimacy and a sense of spiritual fulfillment. A sense of productivity. You see I didn’t quite understand that self-care went far beyond feeding my physical self. Once I understood this my idea of self- care
Some Sundays self-care looks like me getting out of bed at the crack of dawn to physically exert myself with a 10-mile walk/jog followed by a great cup of coffee and me spending the day in bed exhausted but satisfied.
Some Sundays self-care is spending several uninterrupted hours curled up with my partner, minus the intrusion of a cellphone or laptop.
Other Sundays, you can find me deep cleaning and cooking for my family, with a scented candle lit and music blaring from the speakers.
Some Sundays I’m curled up in bed alone, refusing to move unless it’s to relieve my bowels or my hunger pangs.
Some Sundays I spend planning my week ahead. P.S this is something I’m planning to implement as a part of my EVERY Sunday routine. Planning my week has yield a sense of productivity unlike any I’ve ever experienced. It also keeps me accountable while I get to enjoy realizing my goals.
Every Self-Care Sunday may look different, or it may look the same and I am committed to being intentional with my overall health.
What does self-care look like for you? Is it a new concept and you’re considering implementing it? Or is it something you are familiar with and have some form ongoing in your life?
The last 2 weeks of 2021 I found myself in quite a financial pickle.
I was wounded up tight and tense AF, and in a moment of weakness confided to a friend. Having been overwhelmed for so long I unleased my burden. I’m not even sure why because it is not like me to open up to this particular friend. He listened, we chatted for a few minutes and then disconnected. I felt a little better being able to unburden and quickly dismissed the encounter. A few days later I’m feeling the Christmas spirt or it could have been the Jack Daniels coolers, whatever it was, I was hella jovial and relaxed when this friend, let’s call him Jeremy reached out. So, we’re chatting, and he mentions that he had come into some money and had an envelope for me. Instantly all joviality came to a halt, and I thanked him. He asked when I would be able to come for it and I responded that I should be available in another hour. Several minutes after the conversation ended and I was still not able to shake an uneasy feeling that there was an expectation attached to this generous offer. An expectation that I was not willing to be apart off. So, I reached out and asked if sexual favors were expected in return for this generous offer. There was a brief pause before he stated that he only wanted an hour of my time. I chuckled and told him to hold onto that envelope and to take care of himself. I wasn’t angry nor surprised at what had transpire at all. After all I knew the nature of the animal and foolishly thought I was exempted from such drastic measures because we were “friends”.
At 18, I had a conversation with another young lady, and she defined a friend as someone you want to have sex with but haven’t yet. I was taken aback because I had no sexual interest in any of my male friends. I was floored at what seemed like a very jaded outlook on friendship at such a tender age. After my encounter with Jeremy, this conversation came back to me, and I chuckled. It had only taken me 20 years to understand that what Jeremy and I had was never a friendship. Jeremy was a patient predator, who had tested the waters before, while I was the unassuming oblivious potential prey. I lowered my guards with him, and he saw an opening to get what he truly wanted from me.
I came into the 2022 with a better understanding of friendship and one less male friend. Did this encounter have me rethinking my stance that a man and a woman can be JUST friends without sex? No, it didn’t. Jeremy was never my friend. Will I allow this encounter to change the way I view my relationship with all men? Maybe not. What I will do moving forward is stop calling everyone my friend. I’ve used the term too loosely and that must change.
On the flipside I’m glad all of this happened last year and so I was able to get started with my resolution to remove any contact in my phone who serves absolutely NO purpose.