Have you ever had sex just because it was expected?
Have you ever volunteered to be a chaperone for your kid’s soccer game just because?
Have you ever opted to have a glass of wine instead of the cognac and cigar that you really wanted?
How many times have you worn the understated outfit just because you’re a young lady and that’s what respectable ladies wear?
How many times have you stifled the essence of who you are, to please everyone around you, ultimately losing who you are in the process?
I was a teen mom and a college dropout who did everything within my power to not live up to the stereotype. For so long I was caught up in not living up to these stereotypes that I stopped living the life that I wanted to live. I stopped focusing on my individual needs and wants and solely focused on being someone I barely recognized most days. All under the guise of being a responsible adult. Three beautiful children later and a plethora of life lessons later I’m purposefully creating the life I want for myself.
Not for my children and definitely not to be considered a respectable woman in the eyes of society.
I am releasing the concept of putting yourself first as selfish. After all, if I’m not fully charged, how can I help those around me. My children feed on my energy and my energy sets the tone for my household. I love being in a peaceful living space. I love hearing the sound of my children’s laughter, mostly in the other room. I thoroughly enjoy coming home to my sanctuary. In order to sustain this, I have to find ways to keep my being replenished. Those evening strolls along the beach, watching the sunset and those early mornings joggings nourishes me. I thrive on alone time, whether it be lost in a novel or a podcast, or a YouTube video.
I NEED IT.
I have found ways to calm my emotions and keep me focused on what’s important to me and I am willfully opened to more while encouraging you to do what works for you.
I am releasing the idea that purposefully and aggressively pursuing financial gain and sustainability as greedy. God doesn’t want me poor and begging, He wants me rich and a blessing to those around me, and having access to money allows for this. Side note, I grew up in a traditional Christian home and was taught that money is the root of all evil and it was easier for a camel to pass through the eyes of a needle before a rich man can enter the gates of Heaven. In all fairness, I must admit that the innocence of childhood kept me from questioning many things as it relates to God, the Bible, and Church. Respect for others, their property, and their life choices were drilled into us. Curiosity, however, was not always encouraged hence these limiting beliefs lingered for so long.
Daily I remind myself, that I am worthy of financial security and abundance.
And finally, I am releasing the need to have any of my life decisions validated by anyone. At the end of the night, I nestle alone with my decisions. I am also certain I’ve spoken on this before and I feel like it needs to be spoken on again. Everyone has an opinion on the way you should live your life. The kind of career they feel you should pursue. How you should dress. The car you should drive and even the way you should think. Well, I’m here to say FUCK them and their opinions, respectfully.
Funny enough, most times these opinions come from a place of what’s considered love and wanting the best for you. Learning to think for me and to do what’s best for me hasn’t always been my forte. Once upon a time ago I lived to please my family and friends. I wanted to be liked and considered the go-to person, the person that they can call at the last minute and I’ll be there. Like superwoman in my glossy cape. That delusional, no boundary having, people pleaser has been laid to rest. Those who love me will accept and support my decisions no matter what.
A few weeks back, I was listening to a Dr. Myles Munroe Youtube video and he said that we don’t always fulfill our goals because we’re distracted by things that aren’t good or right, but most times we are so distracted doing good/right that we forget to focus on our goals and this caused me to reevaluate how I operate.This journey of self-discovery has been an eye-opener for sure. And one thing it has taught me is that most times I’ve stood in my own way. Recognizing this, I am purposefully releasing limiting beliefs and continuously reevaluating myself and those relationships around me.
Tis the season to blossom and bloom, pruning all the unnecessary.