Remember when people told us single folks that we have to get out the house to meet a potential partner? Well Tinder has definitely determined that that was lie! From the comfort of your comfortable bed, all you have to do is download the app to your device of choice and swipe left or right :).
So a few days ago a friend called me out for not making an effort to date and I rose to the challenge. I signed up for Tinder. I know there are a lot of other options but sis wasn’t trying to overthink and eventually allow my fear to keep me in the that mindless information gathering stage. An added bonus for me was the fact that Tinder matched me with people who were geographically close enough to me that we could meet for coffee, sooner rather than later.
I honestly love an organic relationship but when you’re as much of a homebody as I am, then Tinder(or your online dating platform of choice) is a great idea. I know it has only been a week but here are three (3) lessons I’ve learnt on my week long Tinder adventure.
Tinder is freaking OVERWHELMING! Within minutes of verifying my account, I was swamped with messages. It was fun that first night but waking up to all those messages I felt a tad bit overwhelmed. I am, however, a very curious aka nosey, individual so my ass clicked through every single message and looked at every profile :). While going through these messages I keep thinking about how do I deal with it all. Do I at least acknowledge each? Or do I only acknowledge if I was interested? The latter seemed kinda rude to me. And although I’m nosey, I don’t like being rude unnecessarily. So I consulted my friend who initially challenged me, sis was as lost as I, so I opted to only respond to those who piqued my curiosity. I LOVED oogling the variety while I was on Tinder, but Lord knows I don’t have time to be answering the these basic questions like, “what’s your favorite color/food?”.
Idleness and boredom is at the root of my most questionable decisions. I allowed myself to be baited hence the reason I joined Tinder. I was operating on pure emotions, with not much logic involved. Hence the reason I am no longer on Tinder. I used to think that emotions were important when dating, maturity has taught me otherwise. I’m no longer wanting just a good time, I want a good time with a partner who is actively pursuing their passion and will find time to nurture us because it’s as important to him as it is to me.
Be sure of what you want, in life and especially in your intimate relationship. I quickly realized that Tinder was a great place to “hook-up”. Definitely not where I want to be. I don’t judge anyone for what they do cuz I’m fifty shades of questionable ;). I was forewarned about this however I didn’t wanna seem like I was looking for excuses not to step out of my comfort zone. I know that I want a relationship that I could grow in and nurture and so anyone who was down for good time and not a long time, I politely moon slid away from. Knowing what you want in life has kept me from making too many detours with people who aren’t on the same path.
Dating as I knew it many moons ago has changed drastically. At 18 I met my then-boyfriend through a friend and honestly an online dating site would not have been able to capture all of his personality. However, online dating has broadened the dating pool considerably. I am now able to meet credible options from all over the world! It was a beautiful experience while it lasted and one has to always be mindful of the real life predators ready to pounce. Not everyone on these apps are looking for the same experience as you, so meet at public venues and always let someone you trust know who and where you are at ALL times. I personally took a friend with me as a safety precaution. I’m ready to date and I’m not willing to sacrifice my safety or morals to date.
Have you ever tried online dating? What was your experience like? Remember I’m hella curious aka nosey, so I’m opened to listening to your online dating shenanigans.