Valentine’s is coming

Where is your boyfriend?

You are sitting at home

Lonely!

Your mates are getting flower and you are sitting at home

Lonely!

 The first time I saw that tic toc clip was from my daughter who was teasing me because I’m single. I was stunned for a millisecond before howling with laughter. The only thing it is right about is that Valentine’s is coming and I have no boyfriend.

I am so excited for Valentine’s Day, even in my singleness. Funny enough it wasn’t until I had been single for several years did my love and appreciation for Valentine’s Day blossomed. I’m a hopeless romantic so Valentine’s Day is definitely my kinda day.

You see, I love LOVE.

I love being in love.

I love seeing people growing and glowing in love and on Valentine’s Day it’s more apparent.

I love the safe and secure feeling you get when you’re in a healthy relationship.

I love the conversations about nothing and everything that goes on for hours.

I love the forehead kisses and engulfing hugs that seems to wipe all my worries away.

I love the intimacy of being in a healthy relationship. That lover and friend in the same package just blows me away.

Being single these past 10 years on Valentine’s Day has not dampened my love and excitement for it either. You see, I’ve learned some valuable lessons in this time, some were emotionally taxing while others showed me beauty beyond words.

1. Some people mean more to you than you do to them. This is a really bitter pill to swallow but it’s best to accept this early to avoid unnecessary heartache. You can’t make someone love you the way you need to be loved nor can you love someone enough to sustain a relationship. Funny enough, and this was a real kicker for me, the way you love someone may not be the way they perceive love. You maybe the chick he chill with but not the chick he’s willing to commit to.
2. A healthy relationship is about decisions, not feelings. Feeling change rather quickly. Just because you love someone don’t mean you’ll stay together. For me personally I need more! I need mutual respect. I need support. I need trust. I need space to grow and acceptance when I do. I need my partner to be there when it matters. You have to decide every single day to commit to your partner and your relationship. There are so many temptations out there and it’s easy to not communicate to keep the peace, but ultimately it’s not worth it.
3. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to hang out with your single friends or even your coupled friends who may not be all hyped about Valentine’s Day. Some of my most enjoyable Valentine’s Day memories was with my tribe, hanging out and catching up while over indulging in sweets and cheap wine.
4. Learn to enjoy the moment! Everything is temporary, one year you may be coupled the next you’re single. So dress up on Valentine’s Day. Wear that stunning red outfit, which screams she’s a sexy beast. Wear that fire engine red lipstick with an all-black outfit and your favorite red F Me pumps. Have dinner by candle light with your scented candles that night or better yet purchase take out and curl in bed with a good book and a glass of wine. Whatever you do, make sure it’s what you want to do and that you really enjoy it.

Relationships are beautiful things, especially on Valentine’s Day. Enjoy your singleness. Enjoy getting to know yourself better. Enjoy exploring your interests. Enjoy your friendships and family. And remember Valentine’s is coming, so go get your favorite bottle of wine in preparation for a day of celebration