Ladies have you ever asked your significant other what he wants or even expects from your relationship?
Has it ever crossed your mind that you may not be giving him what he wants even though you feel like you’re making ALL the effort in the world?
Have you ever communicated to your partner your needs and expectations from the relationship? Or have you unknowingly just expected your partner to figure it out! I know I’ve been guilty of all of this. It’s not that I didn’t care about his feelings, goals and ambition. But more along the lines of me assuming that if he never brought it up, he didn’t want to speak on it. And idealistically, I thought of myself as the ideal partner and pretty much the ultimate prize.
Funny enough, I’ve had conversations about expectations, needs and desires in relationships before but they were never with the man I was with. They were with girl friends, some who were a lot jaded and disgruntled. In hindsight I see my error, but in that moment I thoroughly enjoyed those conversations.
Fast forward to present day I’m having heated exchange with an ex-boyfriend and I blurted out “What exactly do you want from me dude?” To which he responds
“Consistent amazing sex and respect”!
There was no hesitation in his answer and no long pause either. This was a shocker for me and a turning point for me.
How often do we ask the person we’re in the relationship with for clarity on what they need in an intimate relationship? And if we do ask, are we willing to listen to understand and hopefully provide these necessities? And if what’s needed isn’t something we’re willing to give, are we willing to communicate this as well? Are we willing to have an honest conversation that could possible result in a beautiful partnership or the prevention of wasted time and heart ache?