New job blessed me with a ticket to a media awards event this weekend past and since I had never attended my first thought was Yay!! I was ecstatic! And then it went to who the hell gives someone 1 single ticket to a black tie affair? Now remember I’m single but I still felt the need to have someone with me. After days of internal turmoil I had to accept that I was actually afraid to socialize on my own. My insecurities were creeping out. A grown ass woman afraid to go out into a social setting filled with strangers, FYI I knew all of 3 people who attended and only by name because we worked at the same company.
Accepting this fact took a minute. I went through the whole I am woman hear me roar to no you’re a woman who’s insecurity is preventing her from enjoying the opportunity to frolic and dress up and experience life. Going out alone meant I have learn how to navigate not only this event but my life on a whole. I have to trust my intuition. To quiet the mind and allow the answers to manifest. It’s great to have a strong tribe/support system, but sometimes it’s best to quiet the mind and reflect and navigate these “black tie events” solo. Learning to trust myself means having an understanding that there are times when I will have mishaps, but there are times I would have made the best decision of my life! Accepting full responsibility for all my actions. Personal accountability I think is what it’s called. And with this realization I got all dolled up on Saturday evening and drove out in my well used 2009 Kia Sportage, I valet parked by the way. And thoroughly enjoyed myself.
As I was bobbing to the music, the band preforming was absolutely superb, nibbling on delectable hors d’oeuvers while sipping some unleaded fruit punch, I mentally patted myself on the back. One small big step to embracing and enjoying my fears and trying something new for the first time all by my lonesome.