I wanted to be held last night!
I wanted after a long day and an even longer night to drive home and be enveloped in your arms.
I wanted to bury my face in the crook of your neck and deeply breathe in that scent that was once considered home.
I wanted to idly chit chat about nothing and everything and eventually drift of to sleep to the rhythmic beating of your heart.
I wanted to lazily stroke you, not in a sexual way, but to to run my hands over your torso and forearm just to savor the feel of them. To savor the strength in the. Just to touch you!
I wanted to rub my cheek against your 5 O’clock shadow.
I wanted to be engulfed by you and made to feel welcomed home…
Instead I was greeted by the deafening silence of aloneness…
Aloneness and the humming of the refrigerator.
For the past few months I’ve been trying to acquire some property. Remember I’m trying to be a responsible parent and build a legacy for my children. Before the application to acquire the property was submitted I was offered a job in an environment that has so much potential for growth , and that’s exactly what I’ve been wanting. Trust me, I’ve been craving some new challenges professionally and when the opportunity presented itself I jumped on it! Understanding that there was a possibility I would have to wait until my probation was up in order to qualify for a property loan, I seized the opportunity to expand myself and grow. There was also the hope that the fact that I was with my previous employers for so long, 11 years, would have been taken into consideration and I still be approved for the loan. That did not happen! That project fell through and I am now left without the property and back on the hunt!
At first when i heard the news, I was devastated! I really wanted that property and it was within my grasp and just before I was able to close my fingers around it, it was plucked from me. But in my perceived lost, I was reminded that nothing happens before it’s time. So I must accept the terms as is and move on knowing that what Jehovah has me will be for me. As long as I stay focused on the goal and strategically work towards it, I will get it!
So here I am cleansing myself of one small chapter, as King David did, and moving onto a bright new chapter. One that is blank and patiently waiting for me to write the story. I’ve adorned my good clothes and my game face is intact and I am READY!