I thought I had it all figured out. That we were over and done with. It’s amazing how a single phone call disrupted my semblance of contentment. I thought I had accepted the finality of the facade called “US”. That I had move pass it all. But all it took was one conversation….one indecent proposal and my well built defenses started to weaken. In spite of all that had transpired between us, they weaken. In spite of all the “unfinished” finished business they weaken. In spite of it all, they weaken and I was sicken. Sicken at my own weakness. Sicken at my almost inability to stay away from you. This dance, if you can call it that, has been ongoing for a while.
And now it’s time for this dance to end. It’s time to admit that we dance even better when we’re dancing with different partners. It’s time to accept that the last time was the last time, because if it wasn’t the last time then we would be living that vicious cycle all over again. Selfishly not allowing the other person the space or peace or chance to blossom and bloom in another garden. Know and understand that what I feel for you will never change. Time and circumstance has proven that. Please understand and accept that at this stage in my life, I want the 4 course meal, inclusive of preparation and clean up time, while you’re only interested in dessert. Not that you can’t offer that, but only that you’re unable to offer it to ME. So with what’s left of it, I’m going to walk away with my self respect intact and wait patiently for what I can finally claim as MINE.
Walking away from the only person you ever saw forever with is never easy. I’m thankful that I met you. I’m thankful that I got a chance to know you and I’m thankful for all the memories that we shared.