At first I was angry. Anger and betrayal filled my heart and mind. Anger, not only at them, but more so at myself. Anger that said “how stupid can you be to go through this ordeal not once but twice?”. Getting my heart ripped out and spewed on the floor and stomped on, just for good measures. To actually believe a man when he said that he would always be there for me and even if, God forbid, we were to split the child would not be denied and ignored. That the child would not suffer as a result of the death of what was labelled “Us”.
With time, yoga, meditation and hours of prayers I’ve accepted my part in the demise and I’ve forgiven not only you but myself and I’d like to say “Thank You”. Thank you for teaching me how strong and creative I am. Thank you for the gift of motherhood. Thank you for giving me the best gifts any person can give another. The chance to nurture and guide two beautiful children. Thank you for teaching me the importance of “It takes a village to raise a child”. Thank you for teaching me to not dwell to long on the problem but to focus on the solution and the end goal. Thank you for the 6am wake up on weekends :-). Thank you for so much more than any of ever imagined.
Your reasons for your actions are beyond my comprehension, however I will respect your decisions. Just know that I forgive you, not for your sake, but for myself. I forgive you so I could be able to love and enjoy my blessings (my children) without any reservations. Thank you! I forgive you and release all anger, frustration and sense of betrayal.