I love weddings! I love the flowers, the pretty dresses, the rings and especially the receptions :). This weekend I had the pleasure of attending my brother’s wedding and for the first time ever I got really emotional. And it wasn’t even moments between bride and groom! It was during the entrance of the groom and his daughter and it was during their father/daughter dance. The love between them was evident and I actually teared up both times. I’ve always read about these really strong father/daughter bonds but I’ve never really witnessed one. And it was pretty darn refreshing. To watch my brother interact with his children is something really special and I hope that so many other little girls and boys would have the opportunity to build such a relationship with their dad.
Life have a way of happening, especially when you’re about making positive changes. So I logged onto my bank account only to see 2 charges that I had no knowledge of, saw this on a Friday evening. So I willed the weekend by and opened the bank that Monday morning, only to be told that I was a victim of fraud. My first thought was, who the hell wanna swipe anything from my account, the balance ain’t even that impressive. I thanked the teller and contacted the card center and my dispute is currently under investigation. Pray for me folks cuz i kinda need that money returned to my account.
But, to get back on track, one thing that went through my mind was how i would not have been able to start my savings plan and work on my goal. So I stewed for a while before I admitted that I was just looking for an excuse not to get started on my dream. Yes some money was taken off my account but they were gracious enough to leave some of it there. So what if I’m not able to save the amount I had intended to save. That doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t save something . So even though it wasn’t much I put aside $20 to get started. Sounds like a little bit, but it’s not always the amount saved it is the habit of saving on a consistent basis.
So guys there will always be set backs but the objective is to stay focused on your goals and to continually make baby steps.
So here I am almost 100 and still don’t have my emergency fund(6-9 months of living expenses) in place. Shoots I don’t even have my $1000(baby emergency fund) set aside for any unexpected expense. But all of that is going to change starting NOW. Well not this minute now, unfortunately, but as of now I am starting my journey to being debt free and having my emergency fund in place by Dec 2016. Note: always be realistic with your goals and always set a dead line :). So with that goal set now is time to revisit some advise from the experts. My personal favorites are Financial Peace by John Ramsey and The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. These are my favorites mostly because they simplify a goal that sometimes feel insurmountable and they’re both very easy to read. So, let’s get started with this journey.
Step 1 – Create a budget
Step 2 – Make list of ALL outstanding bills, even that lil $20 you have for your sister
Step 3 – Work of getting that $1000 baby emergency fund put aside. This takes time of some people aka me :).
Step 4 – Find ways to supplement your income, another job or ask for some over time shoots you can even try selling some of the things you have but not using.
Step 5 – Start cutting down on debt, starting with the one with the highest interest rate.
Note: continually save where ever you can, I’ve given up cable TV for a few months, sticking with internet only. It’s easier than you think. Really it is!
You would think having all this information I would be well on my way to financial freedom, but that’s not the case. You would even think I have a legitimate at least, but no. Not really! I am a spendthrift. I love pretty dresses and high heels and expensive bags. Oh and electronics and sexy underwear and pretty much all kinda things really. So starting today, today is payday 🙂 yay, I’ve started my journey. You’re welcomed to join me .
At first I was angry. Anger and betrayal filled my heart and mind. Anger, not only at them, but more so at myself. Anger that said “how stupid can you be to go through this ordeal not once but twice?”. Getting my heart ripped out and spewed on the floor and stomped on, just for good measures. To actually believe a man when he said that he would always be there for me and even if, God forbid, we were to split the child would not be denied and ignored. That the child would not suffer as a result of the death of what was labelled “Us”.
With time, yoga, meditation and hours of prayers I’ve accepted my part in the demise and I’ve forgiven not only you but myself and I’d like to say “Thank You”. Thank you for teaching me how strong and creative I am. Thank you for the gift of motherhood. Thank you for giving me the best gifts any person can give another. The chance to nurture and guide two beautiful children. Thank you for teaching me the importance of “It takes a village to raise a child”. Thank you for teaching me to not dwell to long on the problem but to focus on the solution and the end goal. Thank you for the 6am wake up on weekends :-). Thank you for so much more than any of ever imagined.
Your reasons for your actions are beyond my comprehension, however I will respect your decisions. Just know that I forgive you, not for your sake, but for myself. I forgive you so I could be able to love and enjoy my blessings (my children) without any reservations. Thank you! I forgive you and release all anger, frustration and sense of betrayal.